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Amaya Renai, 34

6-4-18 “Single like Kraft cheese!!”

I’m just out here living my best life and MAXIMIZING MY SINGLENESS. What does maximizing my singleness mean, you ask?! It means a single individual living, loving and enjoying oneself to the fullest. There is going to be a day that I’ll be married with children and I don’t want to regret any moment of my single life! So, you want to know how single I am?! As my friend says, “Single like Kraft cheese!!” Some would think because I’m single that I’m lonely or anxious about a man, but honestly, I’ve never felt so free. My phone has been dryer than ever, but that’s okay! Do I go on dates? Am I having sex??!? Do I hang out with guys?!? Sure. But it happens on MY TIME!! I’m learning being selfish is not a bad thing and I don’t need to feel sorry about it.

So just last week, I had an AMAZING date. Three months ago, I met this 6’2ft Dark scrumptious black man with the most magnificent smile I have ever seen in a while. (I’m a stickler for a nice set of teeth. Lol) he walked on my plane smiling and smelling GOOD!!! I welcomed him on board and told him how good he smelled. He replied back with a smile and sat down in my section. I noticed during the flight we kept catching each other’s eye, so I decided to shoot my shot! I never put myself out there but that day I was feeling a bit daring, so I wrote my number on one of our napkins, walked right up to him during flight and handed him my number. Ladies before I handed him my number, I DID ask him if he was SINGLE. He smiled back stating: “yes, I’m single, my name is James and you are?!!” 

As I scream on the inside, I state my name:

“AMAYA, Nice to meet you James”.

I walk away to finish my duties on the plane, so we could land. We land safely and as he proceeds to exits the plane, he told me when we landed he had texted me and was looking forward to getting to know me.

 Let me tell you something gurlllll, I was smiling from ear to ear bc I couldn’t believe I pulled his FIONNNEE ASS!!! We text on and off for two weeks after the initial meeting, I got bored because it wasn’t going anywhere. So, I stopped texting him. When I returned, I had a missed voicemail from him!!!! OMG!!! This beautiful Wakanda breed of a man wants to take me out when he comes in town! Perfect timing, so I thought....So originally he makes plans for me to come to Phoenix for our first date but two days before our date he texts me apologizing about his current relationship and he felt he needed to be honest, but he still wanted to take me out and get to know me !! 😐😐😐

Four things Bothered me about this situation. 

1. He was in a relationship 

2. He lied to me when I meet him. 

3. He made plans with me and canceled via text.

4. He tried the hell out of me. 



I send him a text explaining how I have enough friends thank you but no thanks. I proceed to delete his number and move right along with my life. Two weeks go by and he sends me a Snapchat asking me to please hear him out and he was no longer in his relationship. I talk to my male friend and my cousin about it and they both told me to go on the date because I didn’t know his circumstances when I gave him the number and at least he ended up being honest. My intuition said there was more to the story and not to go on the date, but I couldn't prove it soooo against my better judgment and my intuition screaming “NO GIRL DONT DO IT.” I take him on the offer when he arrives in my area.

 Like I said when I started this story, it was one of my favorites and honestly THE BEST DATE OF MY LIFE! HE LITERALLY WINE AND DINED ME.  We talked for hours, he took me to a five-star restaurant with an amazing view of the city! After dinner, we walked to this jazz place and had a few drinks and continued to get to know more of one another. The next day he changed his flight to stay longer so he could take me out on another date. The second date was just as wonderful. I was happy I gave him a second chance until I found out he was 

married with children and no I’m not talking about Al Bundy. I can honestly say I was skeptical but excited about the date. the experience made me realize how I allowed myself to date less than what I deserved lol yes, sad I know but I was trying to be “nice” at least I thought. Sadly, the guy had to be married.

After our two-day date, he become aloof, distant and I decided to NOT use my “private eye” skills to find out! EVERYTHING COMES TO LIGHT IN DUE TIME!!! I simply sent him a text (tried to call, no answer) stating how I was not okay with the behavior and went on with my life. Guys always come back lol. He called me, asking how I was doing, if I was dating someone else 😐and apologized for his disappearance, he felt the need to be honest about his whereabouts. He stated that he needed to tie up some loose ends. I was curious as to what he meant so I kept fishing for him to talk so I could get the information I wanted bc if you are single why would you need to tie things up. Sooo y’all ready for this mess?!?  He admitted that he was still legally married, they were separated. But here is the kicker... they were still in counseling and they live in the same house just in separate rooms. WELLLL he thought we could still have a relationship while he was in that situation. But I felt his dishonesty was enough for me not to continue with getting to know him, I DESPISE A LIAR!!! I terminated his contract! I mean..... damn the dude was sexy but his baggage and his lies cost him any chance of us ever having a future! 


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