• A little kiss and tell

Amaya Renai, 34

7-27-18 "Cougar Alert—— Bit by a Cub."

Last year was a year of personal discovery, it was also the last time I would allow a man to hurt me. EVERY GUY I have dated has cheated on me. ( I hate that this is true ) It’s nothing to brag about but it is something I needed to be aware of in order to stop the BULLSHIT. They not only cheated but they found their way to apologize months later or a year later. So this story doesn’t end how I had hoped. But some things in life don’t end the way we want it.

It was a few days before my 33rd birthday, ( I remember like it was yesterday) I was in a rush to return the rental car before my flight. I usually return my car at the airport but for pricing purposes I decided to return the car off site.

You ever walk into a crowded room and see nobody but that one person, it’s like time had stopped. This is what happen when I met Nick, he was smiling at me. The place was crowded as hell and I didn’t notice anyone but him. He walked directly to me with confidence and a smile. As he walked up he asked me “How can I help you?”

Me: “I need to return my car and make it to the airport in 15 minutes.”

Him: Ok, well let’s get you taken care of quickly.

Honestly, I had a slight attitude because I didn’t have time to flirt and I needed to get going. But his smile, his confidence and how he dressed captured my attention to let him help me with all of my needs.

His smile was bright and full of life. Beautiful teeth, football build and 6’4. Just handsome. Just the way I like it. ( it’s like God dropped him from heaven for me). So we go back and forth joking with one another. By the end of my transaction, he wrote his personal number on his card and drove me to the airport. He was extremely smooth. It wasn’t until he was driving me to the airport that I realized his age ( 24 )and mine (32), we both shared the same birthday, how crazy is that!!! The conversation was nice and I was intrigued that he didn’t seem younger than me. He politely asked me to contact him when I had time. I said “okay” and went about my day. I get home and I decided to contact him. We texted the entire day. It turned out to be the best 6 months. No arguments, lots of talking, we would take turns seeing each other between LA AND ATL, he cooked his ass off and the sex..... AMAZING. His dick was the biggest thing I had in my life , it was pretty , big and mine! We would often talk about me coming to work in Atlanta so we could spend more time together, so I made that possible!! He was excited and so was I.

A week before it was time for me to go to Atlanta to work for a month I had this weird feeling. Something was wrong or didn’t feel right. He started to act distant and I was not use to that kind of behavior from him. He was always so good at communicating with me and resolving anything I felt uncomfortable with. He expressed to me that he had plans with his homeboys to take a trip in the middle of the month, while I was there. Honestly, I didn’t believe that story but I let him have it and kept it moving. It wasn’t until I got to Atlanta that I started questioning EVERYTHING he said to me. My first week in Atlanta we got into our first real argument....

Our text conversation went something like this:

Me: Heyyy baby! Can’t wait to see you tonight. Can I have you all to myself this weekend?!?

Nick: Babe, I told you I am going to be out of town this week, you don’t listen to me!

Me: umm.... wow!!! Yes I listen and no you didn’t tell me you were going out of town.

Nick: Yes i did.

Me: you told me you would be out of town June 19th weekend not this weekend. If I had known I was only going to spend one weekend with you I would have kept my ass in LA and just continued to visit. Where you going this weekend?! Because I swear you mentioned nothing about it.

Nick: Just because you don’t remember doesn’t mean I didn’t tell you!! You obviously weren’t listening, I’m going to NC , to be with my mom.

Me: But you were just with them last weekend. I know you didn’t say anything to me!! I’m not stupid.

Nick: You always want to be right. Plus we have all the days during the week when you get back and I’m off to see each other and the last weekend of this month.

He became extremely defensive with me. Not like him to do that with me at all!!!

So y’all, I could have stayed my black ass in LA and work, so needless to say I was livid!!!!! Ain’t no damn way I want to be in Atlanta barely making money to sit around and do nothing!!

Yes I have family and friends in Atlanta, but I was only coming to Atlanta for US TO SPEND MORE TIME TOGETHER! (His idea, not mine at that!!! )

Not only was I pissed that I was in Atlanta barely working but Nick was TRYIN THE HELL OUT OF ME!!!

We go back and forth via text, then he calls me like “My mom just told me she has lime disease.” So, when we first met he told me his mom had MS so as bad as I wanted to be like WTF BRUH!!! YOU LYING!!!, I couldn’t utter those words but that statement pissed me off more bc ain’t no damn way. You had plans to go home and now she is just telling you she has lime disease!!!! Niggah tried it on sooo many levels. I go to bed and the next morning he apologizes to me to tell me that he may have been wrong and didn’t tell me about this weekend but he swears he did, but let’s agree to disagree, I don’t want us arguing. Then I say well maybe you did but I don’t remember. Later that day, he picks me up and we head out for dinner. He picks me up as if we didn’t just argue the night before, I couldn’t hold it in anymore. I HAD TO TALK ABOUT IT. So he gets frustrated that I brought it up and heads home so we could “talk about it.” Instead of us going to dinner.

It’s about 8:30pm on a Thursday night, when we start talking about it in the car and semi resolve the issue. ( I say semi because I wasn’t 100% satisfied with how this argument was going and how we decided to resolve it , but I didn’t want to argue anymore) Well, his phone rings around that time and it is a girls name I never heard him mention before. He ignores the call and keeps talking to me. ( I note the name in my head and say nothing ) We head upstairs and have a pretty good night. So let me say this, my intuition was telling me something about that call, his story and why he was going out of town was allllll BULLSHIT, but I had no proof and I wanted and needed proof in order to not look cray cray! (don’t we all feel like we need that proof first or is it just me?!)

We wake up the next day and attempt to have sex and he goes completely soft. Never happened before so I was a little taken back.

Nick: It’s me, not you, I’m so stressed out lately.

Me: oh, ok.... from what baby?!

Nick: I don’t know, I just hate seeing my momma sick.

He proceeds to talk and get playful with his dog... “You wanna go home Zeus?!! You ready?!

Ok, this entire conversation alerted a big red flag for me, because I felt he was lying and I felt as if he was setting up the scene for the weekend so I would believe his story. Soooooo, I had to think quick on my feet. I ask him instead of taking me home, could he drop me off at my friend house on the way to North Carolina. I knew I had two choices, he would say yes or no. So he hesitated, asked me for the address then said he would take me to her house.

I watched him pack the smallest bag known to man for a weekend. He had a dog , so you would think he would pack stuff for his dog as well, right?!? Nope!!!!!

Me: Aren’t you going to take food for Zeus with you?!?

Nick: No, I’ll get him some food when I get there.

As soon as he made that statement, I thought this a five hour drive and you not going to have food for your dog until you get to North Carolina?!? He trying me.

Everything he was saying started to run through my head. I still couldn’t gather the nerve to say what I was thinking. So I let him drop me off to my girlfriend house and he leaves.

I’m scrolling through Snapchat on my way to dinner. I see he left me and went straight to the car wash. My first thought was “If you going out of town and have to drive five hours WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU WASHING YOUR CAR.” It was at that moment I knew he was fucking with me. He wasn’t going out of town. He was going to be in Atlanta but made other plans with someone else.

I called him later that night to see if he made it to his mom house safely. ( still playing dumb) There was no answer. He didn’t even call me to say he made it safely like he normally does!!!

What men don’t realize, when their behavior changes we start questioning EVERYTHING. I even when into to full inspector gadget mode!!! ( I hate when I go through that because I am starting to lose trust in a person if I have to do that)

Everything about this week was not normal for him. Our argument, how determined he was to tell me I don’t listen , lack of communication and the sex. I started to have some pain in my stomach from the thought of him lying to me. But the feeling was sooo strong that I had to find out if I was just tripping or if what I felt was real.

On Sunday, I asked a friend of mine take me to his house. This is why you need good friends, no questions asked she just picked me up and drove me to his house!!! When we get there, I don’t see his car but the balcony looks cleaner than usual and the paintings we left on the balcony was gone. So I walk upstairs I see bags of trash bags by the door as if someone cleaned the house. I finally get the courage and knock on the door, what do I hear ?!! The DAMN DOG!! The MUTHA FUCKIN DOG BARKING HIS HEAD OFF!!!!

I KNEW IT! I KNEW I WASN'T TRIPPING!! I call him again, no answer but we both had the Apple Watch so I saw he had been moving around and up for at least 10 hours. So, he was ignoring ya girl. I instantly text him....

Me: I wish you were honest with me about your plans this weekend, instead of lying to me about it. I can’t do this shit anymore, we just need to chill out.

An hour later he texts me, after not saying anything to me after he dropped me off on Friday.

Nick: I agree, take care.

YOOOOO DID THIS BITCH JUST TEXT ME TAKE CARE!!!! I FLIPPED THE HELL OUT WHEN I GOT THAT TEXT.

This is what ran in my head after reading that text .......You fucking me RAW, I’ve invested a lot of time into US, we had already been using the words I LOVE YOU, I met your family and you mine and you text me take care?!!!

Y’all he had just said that he wished I was moving back to Atlanta sooner so we could spend more time together and he misses me. And this NEGRO sends me a text like that.... nahhhh I wasn’t satisfied, so I took my ass back to his house.

To be continued......

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