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Amaya Renai, 34

10-1-18  "Situation-shit , I mean ship gone wrong. "

The worst type of relationship is a situation-ship. Right?! Ever loved a man sooo much that you know you need to walk away but your addicted to everything about him. More importantly, in the bedroom?!? You don’t realize you were addicted until it’s over or maybe you are aware during. As I get older I’m more aware of individuals energies and vibes. I was Addicted to the arguments, the love making, the lies , the tears , laughs , memories, knowing the truth but not being able to prove it, holding on to what I thought “love” is or just holding on to the potential of the relationship. 

This particular guy was dangerous on sooo many levels. He was charismatic, attractive, my friend (so I thought), comfortable and a gentleman. We would call this type of man a manipulator, a sociopath, shit..... a FUCK BOY with benefits. We want this guy to be our man BUT their actions say ....RUNNNNN BIHHHH RUNNNN!!!!!

When I think about it, I’ve been involved in two situationSHITs. One being on and off for 6years and the other one actually JUST ENDED. So to save time, my thoughts and in general just share the 6 year situation-ship in an entirely different story but yooooo That guy taught me sooooo much in men!!!!! When I say I can SPOT, SMELL, TASTE BULLSHIT FASTER!!!! I ain’t here for the SHITS!!! 

This was the best four month of conversations, dates and sex. LORD, y’all this man touched my soul alll with his dick!!!! I was excited and the sex TOPPED IT OFF. He was the best sex I ever had! I won’t lie, I miss him, miss our conversations but he eventually turned angry about everything and the truth about him came allll the way out honey... smh. 

We were dating for about two months, when he calls me about he was let go from his job. He worked in IT for the government ( so he says ) so I was curious how he could have gotten fired. He told me he is upset and barely wanted to discuss it but wanted me to know since we just started dating. He felt that it wasn’t fair to date me since he no longer has a job and needs to focus on getting another one. He stated that he felt that if I wanted to go on dates with other men I could , as long as I wasn’t sleeping with other men. Well, at the time we would talk for hours a day or spend time with each other when I was home. So I was immediately offended by his statement. So instead of snapping on him, I decided to get off the phone, clear my head and hang with my girls for a few hours. When we spoke again, I was clam enough to speak to him without an attitude. I told him “If you want to date me, date me, if not then you cannot dictate who I can and cannot sleep with. It’s easy! I don’t want confusion, either we doing this or we aren’t! I don’t want you for your money! So, get your applications in, we can do free and affordable dates.”  He understood where I was coming from so he agreed and we continued to date. We continued to have a great relationship, great sex life. Transparency was on point so I thought. It was great but everything that looks good ain’t always good!! And apparently Everything that sounds good ain’t always the truth. My intuition would eventually tell me to walk away. 

Into our third month of dating, I had to go to Atlanta to visit my family and he was homesick and low on funds. So I offered a buddy pass for him to come visit his family. He was hesitant but he decided he would go ahead with the offer. Here is the moment when I started to question EVERYTHING about him. I started to side eye him more in my head. 

The name he gave me when I met him was Antonio. I started to google him and NOTHING! I couldn’t find him anywhere on the Internet, I felt that was very strange. Something was eating me up that this guy is hiding something. So I don’t give out passes to men but I had another agenda under my sleeves. I knew he had to tell me his full name and birthday because it was required to fly. So I never thought I needed to ask specifics such as the “real name” or “bday”. Well I asked it when we met but now that I think about it he was acting like it wasn’t a big deal, he said he hates birthdays, but his birthday was September 1st. And I left it alone. This is how our text conversation went, when asking him about his true identity: 

Me: Hey, send me your full name,  bday and email address. 

((Remember he originally told me his name is Antonio))

Sends me his information, it’s a totally different first name and birthday!!!! 

Him: Cris W. 

         September 12, 1971

Me: ummm who is Cris?!? Antonio?!? 

Him: It’s Me!! 

Me: Why did you tell me your name is Antonio then?! 

So, he is a verbal communicator so he calls me!

Him: How do you want to know me?! On a personal  or professional level. 

I was stunned by this statement but I didn’t know what else to say other than on a personal level, duh! 

He said “ok then, I use Cris for work and everyone knows me as Antonio.”

“Ok”’ I said and left it alone. I was still like this is some bullshit but I didn’t proof. 

Let’s fast forward a week.... I’m

Having a conversation with him about how I hate men that do not take care of their responsibilities when it comes to the care of their children. I knew he had a 15 year old daughter , I only assumed as much as he talks about his daughter that he was a good father. He comes over one day to talk and tells me how stress he was finding a corporate job, he needed to chill with having sex with me since he doesn’t have a job or a pot to piss in. This man proceeds to tell me how he hasn’t been the best father to his child and is working on it now, he felt that it was only fair to me to be aware of his situation because of my feelings towards inactive fathers. 

Him: I know how passionate you are about men and their children, so I need to let you know about my situation. When I first had my daughter I was living overseas making Six figures. I was obligated to go to court and never showed up and the judge ruled without me being present. I was ordered to pay 3,200 a month. I refused to pay that ridiculous ass child support, so I didn’t. So now I owe 95,000 in child support. 

I was speechless, I couldn’t understand why one man with one child owed sooooooo much in child support. I had so many questions, I started to ask and he stated please don’t ask me about it because it’s already embarrassing, I’m stressed and I don’t want to talk about it too much. 


The only thing I could get out was “So your wages are being garnished?!” He said, “they try but they haven’t been able to.” 

I immediately thought to myself this man has to go, I need to seriously walk away. 

The next day, with this information on my brain but the responsibilities of me doing my schoolwork. I went to the library to finish my papers. I finally get done writing two papers and I call him, ( like a dummy I know) asking him if he wanted to get some food, he said no, he wanted to come over and chill. I had been in the library all day, I didn’t want to sit in the house after a long day at the computer. So I told him I was going to get some food. He told me to have fun and he would talk to me later. I call my mom on the way to dinner, tell her about Antonio and I needed a break. She agreed it was time to walk away. But deep down I was not ready to let that dick go, my body craves it. It was like a drug to me. I head to dinner , bored with my own company that I call a male friend up to join me. We eat, talk and drink like fish that night. I knew that I was entire too drunk to drive so I ask him if he minded if I crashed at his house until the morning. I get to my friends house and pass out! 

The next morning, I wake up to 5 missed calls and 2 text messages from him. I look at my phone confused by the amount of calls and his text messages. This is not like him to call me so many times and he called me at 4:30am like WTF. Nothing happened at my friends house other than I took my drunk ass to sleep! 

I get in my car to respond to him and he is already calling me. I answer.... 

Him: Good morning, how are you?!!

Me: I’m good and you?! 

Him: Good, you slept in huh?! 

Me: A little, but I’m about to run some errands. 

Him: So you hung out with your girlfriends last night. 

Me: No, I was alone can come home. 

( at this point I didn’t want the issue of having to explain to him I stayed at a guys house, so I lied. I have no idea why I did because it’s not like we were a couple, yet) 

Him: Oh really ?! What time did you get home. 

Me: Umm about 3/4 am....

( 4am was about the time he called me, I didn’t think about that until now) 

Him: Are you sleeping with someone else?!! 

Me: Huh? No, why?! 

Him: Well, let me help you out! First let me apologize for doing this because it’s not like me to just pop up at your house and invade your privacy. Last night I came by to surprise you as you weren’t home. 

Me: Well how would you know I didn’t stay at my house if you came by last night?! You come over this morning too huh?!? 

Him: Yes, so why did you lie about it?! 

Yoooo I was fucked, I didn’t have an explanation. I just knew that I didn’t want him to know and I lied and got caught. 

This is the moment, I watched this man go from being sweet and kind to me to an immediate jerk. The side he said he had but never showed me. 

Well, I will soon come to find out another side of him very soon. 

To be continued....

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