• A little kiss and tell

Chanel Rey, 33

Updated: Jun 10, 2018

6-3-18 “Girl why you so STUCK?!”

It’s crazy because as bad as I desire to be married to my soul mate and with kids, i also enjoy my freedom. After being single for so long I guess you just become accustomed to doing what you want, when you want, how you want. Oh, and let’s not forget coming home to your nice clean quiet home ahhhhh feels SO freakin' good at times. Then there are nights where I just get lonely af and just want to cuddle or a good dick down *sighs*. I’ve been single now for 5 years and at first, I MUST say I enjoyed the ride💃. Being single was the SHIT! I mean I had just come out of a long relationship, so can you blame a girl for feeling that way after being able to finally spread her wings and experience woman-hood.

OK, so on to the present. Girls girls girls where do I start geez! We all know that realistically these days people aren’t fully available. C’mon we all have that ONE whom we either truly really, I mean REALLY like and think about daily orrrrr that one that you are slick in a “situationship” with. When i say situationship I mean that you probably are really feeling him a lot...most likely more so than he is you (based off of his actions and inconsistency) and he gives you great D 🍆. Ladies y’all know that I am right! Let’s be honest here.

I have one guy who I was really feeling and at this point I'm not sure if it’s because he’s not my typical type and is probably so wrong for me… or damn... I KNOW I'm not dick sprung (no can’t be!😶). Well anyways, I met him while on a trip to visit a friend. How it happened was so bizarre because of all the coincidences. Last summer in Houston, my homegirl and I were on our way out the door to leave this day party and was about to either hit another day party or just head towards the airport; it was my last day in town. As we stepped out the door of the bar onto the patio, my sundress flowing and hugging my body just right. A guy stops me and asked, "You leaving?" I turned his way to slyly check him out before deciding to ignore or reply and I replied “yes, it’s too hot in there”. He wheels me in by smiling showing his dimples (and I'm a sucka for dimples, he also has some nice hazel eyes and sexy lips). He said, “Y’all can’t leave just yet, it’s my birthday come have a drink with me". I glance at my friend to see if she’s cool with it 👀 and then we proceeded to the bar.

He introduces us to his homeboy who was there with him and guess what...I knew the guy from back in Atl. I went to high school with his two younger brothers. So at this point in my mind I'm like how crazy is this entire situation...God is this you?! Then he (let’s just call him “Slim”) goes on to say that he lives in Atlanta and I'm like NO WAY (now I'm thinking to myself...what in the! And I had come to Houston looking for me a Texan, because I was fed up with ATL dudes. How crazy is this😳!) We all take a shot and he buys my friend and I another drink. The conversation is full of laughs and plans to see each other when he comes back home to Atlanta. He begs to try to get me to stay another day in Houston to go celebrate with them, but I tell him I can’t because duty calls (duty being work). I said yes to popping over to the spot next door with him for a few and to get a drink before I head to the airport.

He walks me to my friend’s car (an abused white Kia soul with ugly black scuff marks and dents that she borrowed from her Aunt because her car was in the shop). She hated and complained our whole ride lol. Anyways, he hugged me and then kissed me🙀. It came so natural though, and it was actually good. At this moment, I’m like hmm…, ok he may be a playa; imma have to see about him now. What got me was that he’s not my typical go to guy. I’ve never been into slim guys at all, but my friend kept telling me he’s cute and is nice girl, go for it! She said, “don’t be hatin’ on no thin man girl, just cause he’s not your norm, sometimes it’s good to experience things outside your comfort zone because you may end up liking it. So, I did… and so here I am today stuck on this Boy *eye roll*! My friend probably jinxed me *rolls-eyes*. I fell for his New Orleans slang, swag, confidence, style, the fact that he’s talented and could dance, the SEX!!!! Like OMG, he does all that my body wants and desires in the bedroom (even the groceries 🙊👅🙌😍) right off the back. He needed no guidance, and his kisses are the most sensual shit I’ve ever encountered. Good GAWD! Makes my panties wet just thinking about it💦.

Once I got back to ATL, I wasn’t sure if he would follow through. He did reach out once he made it back home to Atlanta. We arranged a movie date and then drinks. During our date he shared with me that he had a baby girl back in TX and see ladies that’s the THING....I've always been the type of chick who refused to date guys with KIDS… !!!! Like RUN GIRL RUN🏃!  I just knew that meant "BabyMama" aka “BM” aka "Baby Mama Drama" that I AIN’T got time for!! Then there’s always the thought in the back of our minds that they are always still messing around with the baby mama, or that she still wants him and will try him up EVERY chance she gets. The fact that his child was two years old had me worried even more. I decided to just tell myself this won’t go far at all but decided to see what he’s about. After all, my girlfriend told me to go outside of my comfort zone. I held out on him for a good 3 months. I had a "Game Plan" that I was sticking to. I told him straight up what I was about and that I wasn’t lookin’ for no FWB. I was serious, and I went on to explain to him that I was dating with a purpose; not looking to just be someone's bootycall.  He was down for what I was saying, but in the end, I ended up falling for his pretty bs anyway. It was probably those damned sexy bedroom hazel eyes; or something…, but this is how it happened.

Initially, after that first convo. Slim backed off from me, but honey of course he came back. Hahaha they always comeback; don’t they😏💅. We met out one random day and rekindled things between us. And from then on, we hung out a lot and one night after hanging with each other and our friends out, it happened. Since then we have had AMAZINGGGGG sex, and great times out and nights over. It eventually turned into a he hit me up every so and so, then I'd hit him up for it aka 🍆. Then that slowly died down this year and I can no longer get the 🍆 at my beck and call; which irritates the hell outta me! Like if I'm horny and want it why don’t you😩! With him being 4 years my senior I also expected his drive for sex to be higher than mine. It was fun and nice while it lasted; I mean like REALLY nice, but I can't with just the once a month good fuck, and then you disappear and pop up WHEN YOU WANT. Is it really true that the older women get, the hornier we get? If so, I guess I finally understand why women become cougars.

It’s time for me to wing off of his ass anyhow (but I'll keep y'all posted on how that goes LOL🙈), especially after our convo at my place one night where we got to talking serious and he told me he’s not at a place where he can be in a relationship because of all that he’s working towards at the moment. At this point, I was thinking, like who the hell are you nicca??? And what the hell do you take me for? If it's some other chick, just man up and tell me! Don’t beat around the bush, I mean MY bush! Then he went on to say how perfect it would be to be with me when that time came (like huh???) And what do you want from me and how long do you want or think I’ll wait. This is why guys confuse me. Like if you have a great women in front of you why take the chance of losing her to the next Man. This all sounds WAYYYYY too familiar like frfr.

Before Slim, I was in love with this guy for 2 ½ years and had to FINALLY FACE THE FACTS that we will not be together because he was not ready as he said and kept saying he wants to be financially stable, and blazay blazay -insert more bs here- blah. Its partially my fault for believing his beautiful bullshit for so damned long. That’s a whole different story though, catch you up on that one another time because it’s oh so deep. But yea, so it’s come down to the fact that the only two guys that I've ever truly actually liked during this 5 years of being single are both “NOT READY.” Like WTF! Why do I keep falling for the ones who "aren't ready?"😒.

Who else has experienced this foolery? Let me hear from you in the comments section below.

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