• A little kiss and tell

Chanel Rey, 33

08-23-18 “ Summer Baecation or whateva”

I know it’s been a minute😩, ya girl has SO much to catch y’all up on!!!👀 Ok, so I have a few updates about previous Men (Slim, Zimbabwe, and the GentleMan) that I’ve mentioned in my blogs...Let’s start with my spontaneous Summer “Baecation” trip that I went on. He knew my birthday was approaching and asked if I'd be down for a beach trip. I agreed to taking this trip with the guy that I had met on Tinder back in March. He’s been so consistent and the absolutely most perfect gentleman, which is why I had nicknamed him “GentleMan”. This trip was going to help me determine all of the things that I wondered about this man and wanted to know, well at least that’s what my plan was. I needed to see him out of character without the “perfect Gentleman mask”. We had not had sex and he never pressured to get the draws (Thank Gawd!). That can typically ruin things.

The GentleMan is quite handsome. He is about a shade or two shy of being a light skin (lol trying my hardest to steer clear of them). He has a shadow beard, you know us chicks love a Man with a beard. The GentleMan also has an 8year old son, that lives out of town. Yes, I've given yet another guy with a child a try *eye roll, sigh* well at least his is older and his babymama is Married. I just wish he was a bit taller and aggressive might I add. I like a Man to take charge time to time and show affection by touches here and there, ya know. Like let me see and know that you are in to me. These were the things he lacked.

 Let me tell you about this trip though, man oh man 😅. It’s Friday and I am ecstatic and oh so ready to get up out of Atlanta. I’m rushing to finish up ready, putting on the final touches. Can’t forget my smell good, *sprays on my favorite Bond Scent*😉. By the time I’m wrapping up, he calls to say that he is pulling up. I head to the car pulling my luggage and when I reach his car girl the way he was staring at me when he sees me had me blushing (yep, ok you’re looking hot girl. Confirmed, check! SHE READY *Haddish voice*. We hug and make our way to the airport. Traffic is absolutely RIDICULOUS! They have the nerve to have Spring Street closed WTF, and on a FRIDAY, this can’t be real. He was already late picking me up, so in my head I'm like we are definitely not going to make this flight *eyeroll*. I didn’t want to stress him, so I let him continue as though we would lol. We get to the airport and have trouble finding a parking spot *slaps forehead*. FINALLY, we find a spot and now we have to lug it to the check-in to check our bags. And there it is....Check-in Lady:We can’t get you on this flight. They are about to board and you have to check bags 45 minutes in advance. The next flight going out is in 3 hours and has a stop in Boston, so you would get to Miami at 12:15am”. WHAT THE HELL!!! That’s one entire day gone ugggh, I'm screaming in my head. Hmmm I wonder if this is a sign that I shouldn't go... But I've been waiting for a trip. Girl you’re going! Just make the best of it! I tell myself. He pays the extra in cash needed to get us on that flight. “Ok now let’s go find a bar and food”, I say to him.

By the time we land I am DOG tired and irritable. Our bags finally arrive, and we hop in a Lyft to the hotel. SN: During this trip is when I found out this Man has money 👀, ok okkk I see you😻. We arrive at one of the nicest hotels in the city and head to check in at approximately 1amish smh. And guess what, Of COURSE they gave our room away 😑😣. We are in the lobby for a good 30 minutes before she finally gives us a key to a room. We head up to the top floor of the hotel and open the door to a lavish ass SUITE 😵😵💖!!! OMG it is HUGE and SO DOPE! He sees my face in amazement and says “Oh, you didn’t hear the Lady huh? She only had their suite available tonight and will have us a room tomorrow”.  “Well hell how are they going to just downgrade us after all of this lol *sad face*, I say to him. He agrees and says, I know right, aint no going back from this!” Alright so what you wanna do? You wanna chill or get out?, he says. I’m cool with whatever, but sheesh that travel was exhausting. Let me get up to shower, we can go to that strip club you mentioned, I tell him”. 

I finish dressing and tell myself “Shit I hope he’s ready for this, he hasn’t seen what a sis out of town FLY is on *smirks*.  I walk out into the living room smelling like a million bucks, wearing this 2-piece see-through shorts outfit, with a black under set that keeps me slyly revealing and sexy. Oh ya girl was DEFINITELY going to strive to be sexier than these strippers we were about to go see HAHA *swings hair*. As soon as he gets a glimpse his look says it all, he says “Wowww!!”. I smirk back. We pour us a drink to go and head out the door to the strip club. I was a little confused because for this place to be known for their strippers, this place was whack, there was Bad one and one possible. I was the BADDEST one in there, all natural and all😜, like seriously, not to toot my own horn! I’m getting stares by both the Men and Women as we walk around to find us a table. My inner ego: Yasss yassss ladies & gents get your looks in, she BAD and I ain’t dress for nothing tonight 💁, I say in my as I do my walk through. He goes over to the bar to get us drinks and finds us seats and calls me over. We sippin, he’s looking, I’m looking, then he stops a girl and buys me a dance. Tell me why she and I done became friends in there lol. She was so sweet. Once she was done dancing a few songs, he whispered over to me that she reminds him of me in a way. I was like “really?!...hmm perhaps the smile lol idk”. 

We get back to the room and go on our huge rooftop deck to see the view of the city and beach. The view was Phenomenal, as the sun began to peak through. He goes inside to grab a bottle of Champagne from the fridge. I get the latest Summer hits going for us and we’re having our own little party at 5:30am. We partied until the sun was about to fully come out.  I see him pull out a black-a-mile and in my mind I’m like oh nooo noooo *Kevin Hart’s voice*🙈. He sees my face and explains why he smokes them, “I just smoke these from time to time to level off the liquor”. Me: Oh, ok gotcha. Then says to self: strike 1! We stay out a bit longer and then I go insode to hit the bed and he follows behind me. So, he hops in the bed and he rolls over close to me and starts kissing me and caressing me. Then he heads down south and slides my black thong off and starts to attempt to eat me out. It wasn’t doing anything for me at all *eyeroll*. C’mon you are 35, you haven’t mastered this yet ughh, I say to myself. I tell him to come up, he had been down there way too long. I had to stare at the ceiling to keep from laughing. He comes up and the next thing you know this fool is licking my ear *flick, flick*. GIRL all I hear is the sound of his wet tongue flickering in my ear allloud, like EWWWW who does that for foreplay. It was aggravating the hell out of me, so I roll on top of him and unzip my jacket and unhook my bra to expose my breast. He reaches for a condom, I adjust it in and I begin to ride him. WhYYYYyyyyy Me Every timmme I swear *insert whining face* he has a small peter *eyeroll*. I continue on to get myself off by doing what I need and being in control. Once I was done, I rolled off of him and left him like “what what about me!? 🙁 LOL”. 

I began to doze off and I feel him trying to caress me to get some. I’m so turned off and in a “nah I'm good” kinda mood, I brush his hand down and said “I'm sleepy it’s almost daylight”. I finally doze off and I sleep a little wild when uncomfortable, I shift my body and feel my feet in something wet at the foot of my bed. I ignore it but slide over out of it. Then I open my eyes and THIS ninja is standing at the foot of my bed pissing on the floor. I say WTF and he sloppily walks into the bathroom which is right next to my side of the bed. But so, get this, we all know what the sound of peeing in a toilet sounds like right. That’s not what I heard so I slide up in the bed to peek inside the bathroom and this MF is peeing in this nice ass garden tube we have. OMG he’s Triflin!!! STRIKE 2, but if he’s just drunk I may let slide, we will see! I act as though I'm sleep when I hear him come back to bed. I’ll wait to bring up this little episode and need to find the right way to mention it. Hell, we still had 3 more days to go 😫!! I beat him up of course and am ready to get this day started and the beach. It’s SO bright and beautiful out. I begin getting ready and put on a fly swimsuit and cute coverup and then make me a mimosa and go on the rooftop. My stomach began to rumble. Damn how long is he going to sleep... I head to the room and say “Hey good morning, tryna go grab brunch somewhere?” He says, “What time is it? Are you trying to order in or go out?” Me: It’s almost noon. Let’s go out it’s so nice out and we can pack up a beach bag to hit the beach after”. Him: Ok, give me about 15 more minutes. Man, I wish he would come on and get his butt UP!

We are out for Brunch at one of my favorite spots to go in this city and it’s packed. We were lucky enough to find two seats at the bar. *Ding* It’s a text back from my BFF. It reads “Girl WHAT?!!!? NO WAY!!! I need ALL of the deets girl! Hit me back when you can talk”. I do an inside giggle and put my phone back up, that boy is so silly, he loves him some good tea haha. I had sent him a text telling “OMGggggg I need to tell you about last night. You will NOT believe...S.O.S!!!”. Brunch and the beach were nice. The beach was so hot we didn’t even make it the water. He was knocked out in a chair under an umbrella, while I played music, snapped some pics, and drank. I began to start dozing off myself. I wake up to my alarm going off that I set to remind us to leave to get ready for our dinner reservations. Oh, I was NOT going to miss dinner. He had made us reservations at this lovely and delicious five-star restaurants here and I could not wait! Dinner was absolutely AMAZING!!!!! We ordered everything from an appetizer, to drinks, and shared 2 entrées because my greedy ass couldn’t decide which I wanted 😅, don’t judge me. As we both pushed our plates forward for the waiter to grab and then he handed me a gift, it was wrapped so professionally and nice that I did not want to mess up the wrapper. “I love surprises!”, I tell him as I'm smiling from ear to ear. I open it and WOW, I was surprised to see my favorite Bond perfume. How did he know, and wow he spent good money on a birthday gift for me, how sweet! As if the trip wasn’t enough, he is showing out and I’m loving it. “This is my favorite scent!! Thank you so much that was nice of you!”, I lean over to kiss him on the cheek. 

We head out to go to the club where he had bought a section. We get there and have like the best section at the club, it views over the entire dance floor and stage. He leans towards me to ask what bottle do I want and hands me the menu. I know he doesn’t drink dark liquor, and I don’t drink Vodka like he does. I go on to tell him, I’ll just do Rose` Moet. I didn’t want him to get me a bottle to myself, there’s no way I can drink an entire bottle by myself. The bottle girl appears with the firecracker lit and a bottle of Grey Goose & Moet. The DJ is lit and I'm up dancing at the rail looking over the crowd with my glass of champagne. He’s sitting on the top of the couch vibin and drinking his drink. Time goes on and I’m getting tired and rets ta go. He’s chugging down his bottle and I notice him stumble. This ninja is drunk again, oh great 😑. He walks over to the section directly next to us and almost fell asking the guy if he wants the rest of his bottle. And the dude tells him no I’m good bro. I pull him back over to our section and he plops onto the couch. 

Me: You ready? 

Him: Yea, let me go to the bathroom real quick first.

Me: Ok, I have to go too, so I'll come with you.

When I come out, he’s nowhere to be found. So i call him.

Me: Where are you? I’m outside the restroom

Him: I’m outside the bathroom.

Me: No, you’re not. I’ll just meet you outside. (as I’m already walking out the door)

 I walk out the club and see him leaned up against a car with the phone to his ear still. I hear him trying to tell uber where he is, sounding sloppy drunk. Then as I approach his way, tell me why I see this ninja tryna holla at some chick. I’m like WTF. He goes to try to reach to tap her again as she walks past him and turns to him and syas “I’m good! (and throws her hand up). I walk up to him and say...

Me: WOW, are you seriously out here tryna holla at another chick, while you hear with me though?!!?

Him: I thought that was you. The uber is here, says he’s at that light.

Me in my head: No, the fuck you did not. How you think that was me and I have on Royal blue and she has on a white dress. My hair is braided and hers is wild and curly. This ninja must think I'm dumb. Strike 2.5!

We are in the uber and he’s leaned up against the door. And yells out the uber “Let us out here. The hotels right there. We can walk from here”. I’m like “Uh where? The hotel is not here. Just let him take us to where he picked us up from”. Uber driver: “Yea, we are nowhere near your hotel yet. It’s a few more blocks”. I shake my damn head and say to myself “This ninja would have had us walking damn blocks lost and in my heels.. I can’t! I need a Man that can handle his liquor and can protect me if some shit were to pop off. Oh, and let’s not forget, a Man who RESPECTS me, how dare he try to play me. I was beginning to see unfiltered side of him and was not liking one bit of it. 

When we get back to our room, I’m irritated and even more irritated that they put us in the normal hotel room. Now I can’t space out from him. It was so much smaller than that lavish ass suite we were in last night. I change into my pajamas and hop in the bed and get all the way in my one corner of the bed. He gets in bed and starts pulling on me to come closer and I ignore it and go to sleep. I hear something in the middle of the night and it’s him peeing but it doesn’t sound like the damn toilet bowl, it’s a hard surface. This MF is at it AGAIN pissing in the shower this time. Ok, this ninja has a serious issue or sleeps walk or some shit and hasn't told me. 

The next day I beat him up again and begin to get dress. I want to hit up our pool. I have missed message from my gay BFF trying to get the latest on what’s going on. I fill him in about another pissing episode.  He calls me and says, “Bitchhh get dat ass up and throw on you a nice ass swimsuit and hit up our boy Marcus. You know he lives there and probably somewhere with the rich white folks. I’m about to hit him up and see where he is. I’ll call you back.  Me: Lol ok boo! I’m up already beating this face. His ass over here knocked the fuck out still. Let me know what Marcus says”. He calls me back immediately and says “BITCHHHHHH Yasssss hurry!!! He’s at a yacht party right NOW and said to hit him up so you can slide through. Leave his ass sleep. And Facetime me when you’re headed there”. Me: Ok, let me hurry up. I’ll hit u.

As soon as I finished my final touches, his ass starts waking up. He says, hey good morning. I say, Good morning, I’m about to head down to the bar. I’ll meet you there.” He says, Ok cool. As I’m headed downstairs I text my BFF back telling him that he woke his ass up and that I don’t want to just leave him, that would be wrong now that he’s up. Shit, I still need to get through this last day. I grab a drink at the bar and start chatting with my homegirl on the phone. Then my line beeps and It's the GentleMan asking where I am exactly. Then he takes a seat by me and stares at me and begins.

Him: I’m sorry if I did anything last night. 

Me: What makes you think that you did?

Him: I feel like there’s tension this morning. 

Me: Well to be honest there was quite a few things that I was uncomfortable with. To start the first night, you peed in the tub and then the night after in the shower. And then after we left the club I caught you tryna holla at some chick. 

Him: (with a look of embarrassment on his face) I’m truly sorry. I don’t remember any of that. 

Me: You were drunk, so some of it I can excuse, but can’t let that happen again.

We go grab lunch at this Caribbean spot and it is awkwardly silent. Feels like an hour went by, from the car ride here til the moment he finally spoke. 

Him: I apologize for being so quiet, but I'm embarrassed. I really hope that I didn’t ruin tings for us. I really like you.

Me:  I really just want to enjoy this last night. Let’s make it a chill night and just go on the strip and find a good hookah spot. 

Him: Ok, let’s!

So basically y’all, I had to make the best of the trip whenever I can. I actually still had an amazing time, but just had awkward moment. I’m glad to be back home though. As he dropped me off at home he says so will you do another trip with me. I tell him yea I would, if it’s less craziness lol. 

A few days later, it’s my birthday and I am getting texts and calls like no other. I even get texts from my two old beaus that I secretly will still answer for smdh lol. One being Slim. I hadn’t heard from this ninja in two months. The message read “HAPPY BIRTHDAY BEAUTIFUL!”. I replied back “Thank you😊😊!” and that was that. I did NOT even get one from Zimbabwe, like WOW I can’t believe he reversed this shit and cut ME off...ME!! Bump him ughhh asshole! He got mad at me after the Chris Brown concert some weeks ago because I called him out for feeling up on me while I was sleep. I hate being groped on while sleep, especially if I’m not even in to you like that. He just mad he still ain’t get no booty after almost 3 years of us knowing each other, joke on you my ninja😝. Good rittens ninja! 

Anywho, the following week after my birthday had passes, I get a text from an unsaved number at about 7:30pmish. I knew exactly who is it was from because although I deleted him out of my contact, I didn’t delete the text message chain🙈. Why do we do that...lol we act as though we done with that ninja, but don’t really be done LOL *sigh*. I mostly do it so that I won’t reach out anymore, let’s let that ninja see you “fall back” and make his ass work. He had LITERALLY just crossed my mind too! It was Slim popping back up. So, he hits me with the... 

Text messages:

S: How you doing?

    Or should I say Hey big head lol j/k

Me: Lol rightttt wow u literally had just crossed my mind. I’vebeen great though. Hbu?

S: Crazy cause same here

    U crossed mines

    I’ve been good man staying busy

Me: Well look at that

S: Means u gon marry me some day

Me: That’s good and busy is always a good thing.

       Lol here u go *eyeroll*

S: How was yo Baecation

    U know I gotta make u role yo eyes lol

Me: Lol watchu talkin bout *eyeballs*

       Wouldn’t be u if u didn’t

S: *insert “i got my eye on you* Gif here*

Me: LMBO *angel emoji*

S: I was there

Me: u were where?

S: On yo baecation...stalking

Me: Nah you beat me to it like a month ago on yours tho...

S: Pardon me

Me: U heard me right. The eyes don’t lie

S:  Plead the 5th

Me: u should

S Bahaha and so should u. 

  I don’t want no smoke, I’m a lover. You’ll take me off the backburner one day.

Me: HA you put yourself there. And went and got booed up I see and started acting brand new

S: I did not get boo’d up Fake news. And u made up fake conclusions. But I forgive u bae.

Ninjas smh!!!! LOL they love to try to call you out and never wanna acknowledge what they be doing. So, we pretty much continue  texting back and forth and he starts flirting and trying to be cute and shit. Then he sees my IG story post and saw that I was cooking. And says I see you over there cookin......How do ya’ll think this text convo ends???? And what did I find out?

To be continued real soon....

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