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Lexi Nikols, 40

9-6-18 "Social Media – Gift & a Curse"

Things with Big Country have been going well. He’s quite the southern gentleman and I certainly appreciate a chivalrous man. But I’m not jumping into feelings just yet. I feel somewhat hesitant now that I’ve so quickly given up the skins …yet again. And just not quite sure who this guy is completely yet. Some guys are just simply nice to everyone. And that’s cool too. It doesn’t mean you’re special so I’m trying to just be easy and figure this man out now that everything on paper checks out. He likes me though that’s for sure. I’m getting the communication from him that I need on a daily. He likes sending pictures throughout the day of randomness that sometimes makes me chuckle at his level of corny. I got a random picture of a bowl of cut up watermelon with a caption “snack time”. Ok sir…lol Lucky he’s fine and sending reminders of that face via pics too.

I’m at my sister’s house visiting and we’re discussing this new handsome friend of mine. It’s funny before meeting him I’d said I wasn’t meeting another man off the internet! I’d met Zaddy on Plenty of Fish and many more through social media with weird twists and failed endings. I’m probably going to meet my man in person, the old-fashioned way. Now the downside to this meeting was, I know nothing about him besides all that he’s told me thus far. And remember Big Country can talk, so he’s told me a lot. My sister asks “So you don’t know his last name yet? We need to Google him.” “Nope”, I answer. “I’m trying to wait for an organic way to bring it up in conversation. I don’t want it to blatantly come off that my intent is to get my I-spy on or give him the wrong impression that I’m some marriage thirsty chick dauntingly aspiring to see if I want to carry his last name. End up running the man off. I’m just trying to play this cool. He’s trying to figure me out just as much as I am him right now.” Meeting someone in real life can add some mystery that’s intriguing but also makes someone as impatient and nosey as I am a bit anxious until I’m able to find out more. Like, what’s he into? Wonder what his family looks like? Who’s he hang around? Does he travel and if so, what types of places? Does he post a gang of selfies or pics with chicks all around him? Dang I wanna know more and soon! Otherwise this can’t go much further. Have me all caught up with the dude who posts watermelon bowl pics on IG! Lol

My plan was to go over to him after leaving my sister. So I text “Hey I’ll be on my way shortly. You’re home?” He texted back, “Yea that’s cool. But would you mind doing me a favor before you get here? Could you print something for me?” I respond, “sure, send it to my Gmail.” Bingo baby!! I show the text to my sis. We’re both like “Look at gawhd!” Now luckily I’m at my sister’s and her printer has ink and also he’s lucky I’m so dang interested to know more that I’m more than willing to get his full name from his email (hopefully). I didn’t even ask what I was printing. So bam…I get the email and the last name. Google search ON! My sister literally grabs popcorn with her wine and plops down on the couch next to me. She’s my older sibling and has been happily married for nearly 20yrs, so my life is her ratchet reality TV live and in the flesh.

I plug in his name. (Btw…I really do like his last name.) I’ve met men before, found out their full name and was like aww hell I’ll be damned if we fall in love and that’s on my email signature. (So shallow *facepalm*) I find that he played college football and was quite the star in his day. He was even drafted to the NFL but his career was super short-lived, like many, when a really bad knee injury seemed to have stolen all his hopes and dreams. I knew that body was made for someone’s field. The document he asked me to print was an invite to audition for some role in a popular TV show. Teacher, chef, athlete, aspiring actor…ok boo! Was this an attempt to try to impress me? Or maybe I’m reading into it too deep and he just simply asked for a favor. Either way it’s cool that he’s sharing what he’s into with me. And next I find his IG page. But it’s private. Dang! Ok, so the next move is to get up in there.

I decide to not waste any more time kee-keein’ at my sister’s house and begin to head out to enjoy my night with Big Country. When I arrive, I hand him the doc he asked me to print. He thanks me and I reply “No problem. So you’re into acting also I see. That’s cool!” He replied, “Yea, my manager sent the audition invite over to me for next week and I’m really excited about this role.” “Well I wish you luck. Let me know how it goes.” I respond. And he replied with a smile “Aww thanks sweetie. I will, for sure.” Hmm…at this point I have more questions about this pursuit of his. Seems random but again I’m still peeling back these layers slowly.

After more small talk, while we’re watching something he’s into on the History channel, cuddling and kissing begins. These arms of his are so big and strong and yet he handles me so tenderly that it’s really endearing. Looking at us, you’d think this guy could crush me, but he touches me so delicately like I’m made of glass… During sex I almost want to instruct him to send his thrusts faster, harder…damnit Lexi…you’re just more accustomed to being a slut-puppy! But no, this time I’m going to bask in his tenderness and just relax into his flow. I really might like this one. But dang-it I want into that IG account!

So the next morning as we’re laying in his bed, we exchange sleepy “Good morning” greetings while enjoying our final minutes of cuddle time before beginning our separate workdays apart. I ask, “Babe are you on IG?” (as if I didn’t already know) He responds “Yea, I’m on there.” “Follow me”, I instruct along with giving him my handle “and I’ll follow back. I wanna see what you’ve been up to” I say jokingly. Followed by a tender kiss and then up and off to get ready for our day. On my ride to work, I notice he started following me. I didn’t want to seem pressed so I waited til later in the afternoon to send my request to access his private account. I had plans to link up with my close homegirl B for an event and figured this could be part of my entertainment for the night. I don’t know at what point during the school day it was for Big Country but I feel like there was minimal wait time before he’d approved my request. And right away I see my girl B is a mutual friend! That’s super coincidental but B knows a million people in this city and she’s also a high school teacher as well. So I think to myself maybe that’s how they know each other from some type of teacher’s convention or something? I text her right away “Yo guess what chick… Me and Big Country are now friends on IG and I see you guys know each other! Give me info asap! Lol”. As soon as I hit send, my phone lights up with her picture. B is calling for this response, oh boy! I answer, “What’s up girl! Don’t tell me nothing crazy now. I’m not done fuckin him yet!!! Hahaha!” (such a lady…) B replies “Ok, so here we go again crossin’ dick paths!” She laughs because it’s funny B & I actually met over 10 years ago as a result of us both dating the same guy. And over the years co-incidentally we seemed to have similar interests in men but fortunately she has news that’s not too bad and she’s extremely happy in a committed relationship leaving me to have all the men we both like to myself! Lol! She continues on, “He & I met and exchanged numbers a couple years back. Hung out as a group with other friends. But no worries girl, I do not know him biblically! Ha! Never even kissed the guy. But he is super fine, a great cook and a really nice guy from what I remember. He was just way too country for me. But this might be a good one for you tho. So you should give him a shot!” She knows how picky I can be. But hearing her back him up really makes me feel good about this potential.

Once we’re inside at the event and waiting in line at the open bar, I decide to scroll through/stalk his IG page further and check out some pics. Ok, football related pics… ok, he’s handsome here in a suit… wait now who’s this chick!? Reads caption…oh ok his sister is really pretty...whew… not a gang of selfies…yay!...keeps scrolling… WAIT…oh hell no…You’ve GOT to be Kiddinig Me!!! Zooms in on the pic dated just 2 months ago. Him and his friend at a beach party in Vegas. And I know his friend *buries face* …Like I know his friend fr fr, “biblically” and recently…like from Spring of this year. I hadn’t told y’all about this guy because honestly I had nothing really nice to say and didn’t want to write clowning anyone. Especially because the guy was literally nothing but nice to me. So I tried dating him briefly but we just didn’t click and there was no chemistry. I nit-picked him to shreds in my mind every time we hung out. And even the sex was bad. (well now between us …the head was phenomenal. So it did extend the time I ended up spending with him. Hell I’d close my eyes, take in all that tongue and chuck dueces quickly after, without him asking for a thing in return…yep he was that guy.) But he caught feelings… hard… and just wouldn’t go away. We’ll call him C-class. Long story, not even worth sharing but he drives a C-class Mercedes that really bothered me to ride in next to him. I felt like he was so big and this car was so little. It looks like a chick’s car. People were bound to think this was my car and I was letting some bum dude drive it Lol *shallow* Anywhoo… Ultimately, I ended up just getting ghost on him. Stopped answering all text msgs and phone calls until they finally stopped. Initially I was trying to maintain a friendship and just fall back sexually from him but he only took my actions on as a challenge and it seemed to make him try harder while making me further turned off. So typically I like to handle people the way that I would want to be treated. But with C-class, I just didn’t know what else to do or say. So I chose to just not deal with it anymore. Period.

Enough about C-class! Now what do I do with this news?? Would you tell it? I’m feelin’ Big Country, he’s feelin’ me…and now this. Dang ok so in my mind it’s over before it even begins. Story of my life… I take this news and the picture to my girl B for advice. Entertainment was definitely what this new info became. B says “Girl…omg. Dang this is messed up. But you know you have to tell him right? You already told him you were planning to look through all his pictures. Jokingly or not. So if you say nothing, he’ll think you’re shady as hell when he finds out. Better to tell him now and see how he feels before you get any further vested in this. And maybe you’ll find out that they’re not even that close.” Ugh…she was right. I’m straight long-faced now. This is what I get for being a whore!

But B was absolutely right. The plan again was to go over to him after this event so I’ll just get it over with now and let Big Country in on our mutual acquaintances. It’ll only get worse if I wait. And see, social media is a gift & a curse. It connects us so quickly to people everywhere. And sometimes even to those people that we’d rather not know.

I arrive at his place. Put my bags down, greet him with a hug and begrudgingly put my big girl panties on to ask “hey babe, can we talk for a min? There’s something I want to share.” He replies inquisitively but with a slight hesitation in his voice, “yea, sure…what’s up?”. I then take a seat on his bench across from him to have a good view of his face as he takes in this news and begin my spiel. “So I noticed that you know one of my girls.” “Who???” He quickly replies before I can even finish my sentence. “My girl, B.” I reply. “Oh I barely know her. We met a while back and never even went on a date. ” He stammers on defensively. “No, no it’s cool” I interrupt him, “She told me you guys don’t know each other ‘biblically’…but ironically I also know one of your friends.” “Who!?” He asks alarmed. “The friend you went to Vegas with, C-class…” I reply. “Do you know him ‘biblically’???” he asks. I hang my head, with my face in my hands as I nod confirming this embarrassing truth. I peak through my fingers with one eye open to see him also now hanging his head with what looks like shock mixed with disappointment. Then the awkward moment of silence…

After allowing him a dragging nearly 10/15 second pause break, I add on the details of our acquaintance and the ultimate end. “Should you decide to ask about me, I’m sure he doesn’t think too highly of me right now. I didn’t exactly handle things the best way. He really is a nice guy but he just wasn’t the guy for me.” I figured if I’m going to tell him, I may as well tell it all from my perspective before he hears a different story. Next I ask with fingers crossed at my side, “so are you guys even close friends or what?”. He says in a low voice “the dude just called me this morning. We’re good friends.” Oh boy… ok, so this may as well end now. I sadly respond “…I debated on whether or not to tell you. But I felt like telling you was best.” He says “Yea you had to tell me and I appreciate that. Cuz what would’ve happened is I’d have had an event and we all would’ve ended up in the same place at some point. I would’ve found out eventually and then felt blindsided…” I say, “ok…I get that… and I completely understand if hearing all of this makes you uncomfortable. If you’d like me to leave now, I can do that.” He responds, “I don’t know how I feel just yet. Give me a minute to process this.” I say, “so should I leave?” He says,…”No.” I respond slowly,…“…Ok, I’ll go take a shower now then.”

As I’m showering in his bathroom, I’m not quite sure what to make of our exchange. He obviously likes me. But maybe he just doesn’t wanna send good pussy home just yet. Or maybe he’s that understanding and can look past it… Nah. There’s bro code and if him and C-class are that cool, this can’t work. Big Country wouldn’t take me seriously now if we continue to deal. Unless he’s just a trifling ass friend. And then I’ll be side-eyeing him. But tonight I’ll just enjoy this potential last night of sweet intimacy and not dwell on it too much right now.

I get done showering and leave the bathroom with just my boy shorts on to join Big Country in his bed. He pulls me close, plants his lips against mine and tenderly kisses me with so much passion as if no exchange of words ever happened before my shower. Then he slides down my boy shorts as he slides himself down past my hips to place his face in between my thighs. From there he proceeded to give me the best head I’ve had in months. Like he went in! What in the world is he trying to do? Or express?? Had C-class shared how well he goes down and now Big Country felt pressure to compete? Or maybe this is our last night together and he’s giving it all he’s got. Either way…I’m caressing his soft waves of hair and softly moaning with sheer delight at every flick of his tongue as he rubs my nipples at the same damn time. (Gotta love a multi-tasker.) Once he brings me to full climax, he comes up to kiss me again as he enters my now super juicy vagina soft and slowly. The kissing just continues ever so sweetly and his thrusts are gentle yet deep and rhythmic. Damn even his sex is sexy. He’s taking his time making love to me and I’m loving every second of it. He gave me that work that seemed to last for nearly an hour followed by me drifting off to sleep in those big strong tatted arms like a baby.

The next morning, we wake up and get dressed for the day as usual. He walks me out to my car carrying my bag the same as he has been doing. He opens my car door, kisses me goodbye and I drive off not knowing what to make of all of this. It’s like had I known I’d soon meet this man, I’d have kept my damn legs crossed when dealing with someone I barely even liked. But I didn’t know. I’m just floating through this life and this dating pool of men hoping to find one that sticks. It happened and there’s nothing I can do about it now. Unfortunately, it wasn’t even in my distant past, it was recent. And they’re good friends. Not long time back home buddies. But they’re cool. There’s no way once I saw it, that I couldn’t tell him. Why did I have to even mention us being friends on IG? Too damn nosey and eager to find out more about him and ended up finding out about my damn self… Anyway I’m trippin’ right now. It’s only been a little over a month that Big Country and I have been hanging out so I’m not that caught up yet. Right??? Nah…can’t be. Hell I’ll just keep it moving.

Then I get his text…”Enjoy your day, pretty lady.” Damn…my love luck sucks… “you too babe *kiss-wink*” I say.

Would you have told? This is why some couples aren’t even friends on social media. Do you believe in being friends with someone you’re dating on social media? My best bet is to just think of this as a great fuck buddy and do not catch feelings. He can’t possibly move forward with wanting to date me now. I’m more than likely now in that box we all hate to be in. ☹ booo… Damn small world! Or actually damn my big ol extra friendly vagina!!

I’ll let you know how this goes…

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