Paris Davenport, 34
9-6-18 "Now what?" Lately, I’ve been attempting to live my best life! I’ve shaved off about 12 pounds, hair and nails every other week and actually getting dressed to go out! We only get one chance at this game called life… and I honestly have not been living it, compared to my friends and family. I always looked for validation from my family, especially my mother. I always want to make her beyond happy! Not let her down…. And I must say, she is thoroughly pleased with all the life choices I’ve made thus far. But now, I have challenged myself focus solely on ME!
For a very long time, people would ask what makes you happy, and I never had an answer. I honestly did not know. With that being said, I don’t know what happiness truly is, well used to. I was so busy living for others. Making sure THEY were happy and taken care of, and not doing the same for myself. I have a problem with saying “No”. I thought people would hate me, befriend me or think I’m just a bitch… but it’s just who I am. BUT, I did vowel to go out and enjoy my life!
With me taking this leap back into the single life, I was nervous. Do I know how to maintain a great conversation? Will he think I’m boring? What if I have something on my face? Just hella random questions that I was asking myself. I’ve always been a heavy advocate of “closed mouths don’t get fed” and I had to take my own advice!
This past weekend (Labor Day) there was a LOT going on in the city!! Events every night etc! My homeboy that works in the same building with me, told me to meet him at a day party when I got off work Saturday. Initially, I said no! But I had to remind myself, I need to get out. I need to remember what fun was. When I got off, I ran Home to change and popped right back out! So I get to the day party, not feeling fully confident in my outfit, makeup or hair… but hey, I’m here now! So I literally have one drink, and was ready to go, so I left! Lol
As I’m waiting for valet to bring my car, I see a little short, light skin guy, pretending like he was “waiting” on someone, but he kept watching me! My car is visible, so I’m just waiting for them to give me my keys! Ironically, the valet pulled his car directly in front of mine, but I had space to pull out! So valet exits his car and he gets in. Once valet hands me my key, homeboy pulled up and completely blocked me in…. like we were in Menace To Society… I immediately start laughing because I know he was gonna get out and talk to me. He approaches my car window… he makes small talk… for about 5 minutes. At this point, I’m really ready to go. He was asking my zodiac sign etc… sir… take my number… so that’s what I said “so, you gonna take my number or….” Kinda threw him off! But let’s get straight to the point!! *shoulder shrug* He randomly texted me at 3:06 A.M. and says “hope you made it home safe”. Cute…. But not at 3 in the morning! I ignored it and responded about 5 the next day! What? I was working!
It was a brief conversation via text! Today, he calls. Mind you I HATE talking on the phone. Lol just text me! We were on the phone for 57 minutes. It was an awkward yet satisfying conversation. I found myself getting irritated with him, but I can't even tell you why. I felt like he was questioning me, yet that’s how you get to know someone! But the one question that I asked was “what’s your profession”. His response was “whatever it takes”. *thinking face* da fuq does that mean? Oh I know! He a tommy as ni**a! After that, I’m thinking he gonna try to kill me! Lmao I told him my favorite chilled beverage was Ginger Ale. He said “oh damn, I have like 48 in My refrigerator, when you gonna let me bring some to you” and before I could catch myself, I said “Boy never, I don’t know you!” Y’all…. I didn’t mean to say that. I was thinking it, and it slipped out… so I had to laugh it off. We spoke a few more minutes and the ending question was do I like to text or talk on the phone. And of course I say text! He proceeds to say “I hope im worthy of being spoken to on the phone”. *inserts blushing face* Only time will tell. We exchanged Facebook information and I noticed we had a couple of mutual friends/acquaintances. I mentioned it and he asked who, as he was still driving from “work”. We discussed how we knew them and got off the phone. Not even 20 minutes later, he was texting me again. Asking can we speak tonight before bed. I have yet to respond. It’s been about 2 hours. Lol
I’m just confused what to do! Men say they love a chase and if it comes too easy, it runs them off… but this works for me because I’m super emotional and extremely nice! But then again I don’t want to play TOO hard to get! This whole dating thing is for the birds. Someone just come wife me! I cook, I clean and submissive when need be…. I don’t think I’m capable of this. It’s TOO much!!! I really don’t like to get to know new guys. That’s why I have a weird notion that I’ll marry someone I know! Needless to say, I have a date tomorrow… and I’m scared. Imma send all y’all my location! Lol wish me luck y’all!!!! Can’t wait to let you guys know what happens!!