Amaya Renai, 34
6-4-18 I SHOULDA SWIPED LEFT👈🏾👈🏾👈🏾👈🏾
Dear Tinder, We are not friends , we are not lovers, matter a fact can you do a background check, a psych evaluation or something before you allow just anybody on this dating app. It’s so easy to get caught up on just a look.
Sooo I moved from dating married men unknowingly to being pressured into a relationship after a month of chatting and one solid date!! I think I need to just stop while I’m ahead because dating in my 30’s my patience is wearing thin and the BULLSHIT Is aggy ! It all started with me swiping right on tinder. He was cute, not my normal pickings but cute. My friends say I’m superficial and all my men look good but they hold no substance. Hate to admit it but they’re right. So I swiped right, on what I would call an “average” looking dude. Lol (Side note: love to date African men, however I’ve never dated a African man that was possessive or controlling like so many of my girlfriends have experienced.☝🏾) His profile detailed everything from his wants and needs. But it did not say he wanted a relationship ASAP. My profile specifically said how communication and transparency is very important to me as well as developing a solid friendship before jumping into a relationship, because I believe it is important to have a man that is your genuine friend first. He specifically asked me if I wanted to be in a relationship and I stated , “YES, but I want to develop our friendship first and see what happens from there.” He agreed and we continued to chat and get to know each other. We knew each other for a solid month before he showed his ass on me. I went to Coachella, after a fun-filled weekend I was exhausted and didn’t want to do a thing! He calls me , asking to see me. I was so tired I politely declined and stayed home to rest. A week goes by, both of us texting on and off and I invite him to hangout with my girls and I. I tell my girls how I was not sure how I felt about him, he was super sweet to me but he annoys me by his continuous remarks about how he liked me and thought I was beautiful. YOooo it wasn’t your normal “You look beautiful, I like you” and we enjoy our date. He would tell me at least every 10 mins how beautiful I was and how much he liked me. Mad annoying, right?!? Anyway, he shows up dressed nice and super happy I invited him out! He had been out with his friends day drinking before he arrived to hang with me and my girls. He asked if we wanted a bottle, ( we already planned to get a bottle for ourselves) I told him yes we got it taken care of. He tells me he is going to pay for it and to relax. ☝🏿 I’m here for it but I also know that he may ask me to spend the night after this and I wasn’t in the mood for him or that conversation. He pays for the bottle. My girls and I have a great night along with him but towards the end of the night he starts with the shits. 😫 He starts to tell me after the 30th time how pretty I was and how much he likes me. I smile and say thank you and keep having fun! He then proceeds to ask me “why are you playing games with me?! Me : HUH?!? How?!? How am I doing that?! Him: You didn’t want to talk to me after Coachella! I’m here with you and you know I don’t have a lot of money but I’m here! Me: 😒😩🙄😳 wait what?! We discussed this, it was nothing personal towards you, I was just tired as hell. Him: I know you said that, I’m not tripping. So can I spend the night?! ( I KNEW IT WAS COMING) Me: No, I just want to go home, chill and sleep alone tonight. Plus I’m not comfortable with that just yet. Him: you know I like you, right?!? Me: Yes Him: You know I would pay $500 if it was only for 30min to see you! Right?! Me:😳😒WHAT?!? My friends must’ve felt my vibe, body language and everything because they decided to pick up and leave me at the lounge with him. I don’t blame them, I wanted to leave too.😂😂😂 He paid for the bottle so I kinda felt I needed to stay but I also was very annoyed by this conversation. So, I say my goodbyes and sit down next to him. I was pissed and trying to figure a way out of this mess. He starts to declare his love for me. Him: You know I like you , no I think I can see myself LOVING YOU. Me: 😳☝🏿DO NOT SAY THAT TO ME! YOOO I WAS SO UNCOMFORTABLE AND CONFUSED I told him I wanted to leave and my car was parked in valet. He tells me how he wants me to be his girlfriend and why won’t I be his girlfriend. Me: If I was your girlfriend, I have to call you everyday, right? Him: Yes! Me: See you after my work trips, right?! Him: Yes! Me: Not travel the country solo the way I do, right?! Him: Yes! Me: Then NO! I don’t want to do the work that it takes to be in a relationship right now and we are just starting to get to know each other. I can’t just jump into something like that! Also this situation has totally pissed me off and I’m not sure I can do this with you anymore. Him: I’m not trying to pressure you, I’m ready so I don’t understand why you aren’t ready for a relationship. I want to be you man. ( African voice) I’m trying to convince you! Me: I gotta go! I’m not doing this with you here anymore! We get up from the table and he walks me out to my car. He asks me if I’m going to call him tomorrow or not. I expressed to him I wasn’t sure because tonight was ruined because of HIM and this CONVERSATION!!! We are waiting for my car to arrive and a woman walks up to us, staring me and him down. I look up at her and speak. Me: Hey, can I help you. Her: Ohhh Hi, John ( with her neck twisted and all) Him: Hey, how are you doing?! She looks at him up and down rolling her eyes, turns around and walks away. 😒 Me: UHHHHH, Who and what was that ?!! Him: NOTHIN’ just some bitch I know. You American girls think too much! Me: Nah, that is something else! And I don’t like it! He pleads that it is nothing , but my car arrives and honestly I don’t want any part of it. So before speeding off, He asks me if he will hear from me again (ladies.... the old me would have text back because I was curious but the new me.... nahhh I’m good). My response to him was “No, I think you should make that young lady that just flipped her hair and walked away your girlfriend!”☝🏾 We haven’t talked since. NEXT......